I often wonder how a guy like me wound up with a hot wife. But rather than live in fear that she’ll soon realize how funny looking I am, I write a lot of sweet notes, clean the bathroom regularly and make absolutely sure that her coffee is ready every morning when she rolls out of bed. So far, so good.
But hotness is hard to hide and knowing good and well how the average heterosexual male mind works, I’m never surprised to hear stories about men flirting with her during her daily adventures out into the world. Most of the time, it makes me feel lucky and a big nerdy smile stretches across my horn-rimed face. But yesterday a little slang got mixed into the situation and Cristi was confused rather than flattered.
“Damn, look at that bounce,” said Dude #1.
“Yeah, that’s just WRONG, JUST WRONG,” replied Dude #2.
Now, I immediately recognized this as a positive, not entirely disrespectful evaluation of her physique. She, however, was thrown off by two key words: “bounce” and “wrong.”
I explained to her that in this instance “bounce” was simply some half-retarded guy’s way of saying he appreciated the fact that she has curves and doesn’t weight 97 pounds like most of the women I see roaming around Lincoln Park. Then I told her that “wrong” most definitely meant “right” in this particular context. Then I told her I loved her and that I hoped her bounce was all wrong for the rest of her life.
She laughed and asked me to go clean the toilet.
