Diarrhea would be nice.

The plan was simple. We’d rent a cabin in the woods somewhere near Eureka Springs and relax. We found the place. We packed the car with a few basics and hit the road. Less than two hours later we arrived. Everything was perfect at Cabin #9—except it was facing the wrong direction.

The beautiful rolling hills and expansive bodies of water were all within one amazing panoramic view—outside our bathroom window. At one point, we decided climbing the roof was the best way to take in the scenery, but this upset Woody and we eventually decided to come down and feed him treats instead.

We spent the majority of the weekend on the front porch anyway. But every five minutes or so I entertained a recurring fantasy of a giant’s hand reaching through the clouds, plucking the little cabin from its foundation and carefully putting it back down aimed the other direction. And when it became pretty clear that this wasn’t a viable option, I decided to spend as much time in the bathroom as possible. Which is probably the first time in my life I’ve ever wished for a legitimate reason to sit on the pot.

Bathroom View

For the first time in my life, the toilet felt like a throne.


2 thoughts on “Diarrhea would be nice.

  1. Mike says:

    The hotel we stayed at in Hawaii had a huge privacy glass window that overlooked the ocean and the mountains. I felt the same way.

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