Lifestyles of the socially awkward.

Natural selection tried to do its job, but we’ve overcome its harsh reality with advancement—people who have zero survival skills can still thrive. Take the snooty San Francisco “tech guy” for example. It’s a stereotype that’s unfortunately all too real. This incredibly odd creature has a lot of attitude but very little substance to back it up. As a whole, they seem to lack the basic sensibilities to cross the street unsupervised and yet they grace us with their brilliance through apps designed to organize apps…apps that deliver gourmet cookies at midnight to your four-thousand dollar a month studio apartment in the Mission…apps that can find your senior prom photo and superimpose a green Mohawk on your date. The world needs this stuff? The world needs this stuff!

Recently the subject of “grit” has come up a time or two. I don’t know if it’s worthy of a Ted talk, but the longer I live in Northern California the more I notice my “Kansas” showing. People are soft over this way. They pride themselves on being “aware” but it seems to me that it’s really just a front for being hyper-sensitive.

This whole spiel was brought on by a chubby guy wearing a Google hat I encountered this evening while I was out walking the dog and feeling so much love for San Francisco—the scenery, not the tech scene. The details don’t matter as much as the fact that I wound up feeling bad for Mr. Awkward. A part of me wanted to knock his teeth out for being a dick about the fact that my dog wanted to play with his dog—but the ruling majority told me he was just a lonely person who doesn’t know how to deal with the world. See the “tech guy” profile reference above.

So I kept moving. No macho bullshit. No silly situations. But I have to say, as a Kansas kid, guys like this don’t stand a chance in the Midwest among the general population. And I’m proud of the fact that I can straddle both places with a fair amount of success. Hope you have a good day, Google hat guy. Maybe you’ll miraculously find this mild rant online using your search engine powers and post a mean comment. That’s how people fight around here, right?

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