Tag Archives: bullshit

The fuzz.

Digging down through the layers of what used to be. So many hoops. Such a goddamn circus. Chasing one thing and leaving another behind. Memories burn, but the place is someone else’s reality now.

Restless people leave a path. A trail of impressions. Smiles and farewells. You don’t always feel different—but everything has changed.

Grandpa still smiles in pictures but he’s long gone.

And all the girls I’ve loved before love someone else tonight. But I still feel it all. I remember the music that was playing. The smell in the air. The context and the underlying complexity.

Life reinvents itself as it should. We make messes of things. We have good intentions and bad ideas simultaneously. Contradictions packed in confirmations. So we push. And morph. And make new plans that would surprise our old ideas. That send previous selves into tailspins.

My talent is recognizing that I have very little. My area of expertise is being an amateur. My specialty if floating from one experience to the next yearning for something just out of reach. But so close.

Today I live in place I barely knew two years ago. Where entire streets bring back good memories. And steep corners take me to emotional roller coaster realities that have faded into the fuzz.

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Been there, done that.

Someone stares blankly as a stream of cars race down San Francisco’s 101 south in the middle of the night.

Weary from a long day at work, an apartment dweller watches from the small sun porch as the train pulls into the Granville station on Chicago’s Red Line.

A pensive tenant in Madison walks by the thermostat in the hallway and contemplates the impending cold weather.

In Lawrence, Kansas an irritated homeowner stands in the kitchen window as a rowdy frat boy leaves a frothy mix of Chipotle and Bud Light all over the trunk of the big Maple tree that grows in the middle of the yard.

They’re all places I’ve called home. All scenes or situations that unfolded in my life. Today, as I get to know the idiosyncrasies of my new apartment, I think fondly of all the addresses in my past.

Happy Friday. May your keys work, your sinks drain and your lives continue to evolve.

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There was a pretty island. We put a prison on it.

There were wide open spaces. We built factories.

We had feet. We came up with cars.

We had food. We brought in a focus group and introduced Hamburger Helper.

We had ideas so we invented TV and that’s what led us here.

To screens. To staring. To stale air and filthy floors.

This is how we land. And this is how we live. Layer upon layer. From here to eternity—at least until we return to the ravaged earth just below the filthy floors that are just below our feet.

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Structurally sound.

We’re all forced into adulthood whether we like it or not. Hairy faces. Tits popping out. It’s beyond our control, yet widely accepted by the general population. The blessing and burden of being a human being. The awkward package that keeps you contained will do what it wants—so be prepared to feed it pills and maintain a tidy appearance.

If the body is a temple, then mine may need some structural reinforcement.

And if a man’s home is his castle, then I’d better leave a trail of breadcrumbs. 

I’m not exactly sure what we’re all doing here, but I’m on a mission to do as much as I can. And observe as if I’m being watched and analyzed with the same scrutiny. Assume every ripple is a wave and every decision is a potential disaster. 

As always, happy Friday. May you make the most of whatever makes you mostly happy.

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Active ingredients.

The bus I should’ve been on just passed by, but I’ve been busy looking at old cars on Craigslist.

I noticed the calendar was a month behind and the clock on the headboard was two hours ahead, but I’ve been busy walking the dog.

I should probably be in the office coming up with an intricate marketing scheme, but I’ve been busy chatting with the neighbors and contemplating the cloud formations floating over 101 South.

Happy Friday everyone. May your priorities and agendas be manageable. May any stress be easily soothed by distraction.

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